i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
