I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
