Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
