Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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