Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
it's like iHOP with fire
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
