Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wish i was in the wii world.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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