Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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