he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
They have beer where we have blood.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
