i don't like sucking hair
That's intense
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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