do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
