This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
