ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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