Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
