arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You're like the curious george of whores
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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