put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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