I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
