It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
