What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
