Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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