it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
When did angry sex become our thing?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
