so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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