you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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