im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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