I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
