fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
