DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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