On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
