I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
