Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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