he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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