Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
