this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
