Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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