So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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