He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
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