Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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