Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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