I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
