Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Randomize
