it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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