We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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