they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
All I want is dick and wine.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize