She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
