it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Is it penis luge time yet?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
