We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
