im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
