I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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