worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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