we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
