quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
