and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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